Playing Bible Study

As you may or may not know, on Monday nights I host Bible study in my home. Every Monday afternoon Kirsten helps me move furniture, bring out the folding chairs, clean the living room, put her toys away, dust, etc. She gets so excited that "the girls" are coming over, because she thinks they are coming to see her. She also knows that Monday nights are date night for her and her daddy. They have been having picnics upstairs in our bedroom. They'll lay out a blanket, eat a digiorno pizza and watch a movie of Kirsten's choice. She loves this.

Hosting a Bible study has its perks. I sometimes get some leftover goodies from the ladies who bring the snacks. Kirsten gets excited about leftovers. One day, she told me she wants to have Bible study when she's a big girl. I told her she didn't have to wait till she was a big girl, we can have Bible Study anytime. So, now, our Tuesday ritual is to "play Bible Study". We"ll set out a couple of fold out chairs. Kirsten wears her name tag, and she eats leftovers on our flower Bible Study plates. We have our prayer time and pray for Daddy, Jacob, Luke, Erin, Tucker, Mrs. Becky and Mrs. Susan...same ones every time. Then she gives me the attention to share with her a little bit about Jesus. After we talk for about 3-5 minutes, she's ready to watch "the video". Right now, "the video" is Mickey Mouse clubhouse, but one day, I'll remember to put in Veggie Tales.

This week, I read Kirsten parts of Matthew 18, and we talked about how much Jesus loves little children. At this age, she's starting to understand and ask questions about God and Jesus. Her little mind is such a sponge and she learns things so fast. Her innocence and imagination melts my heart. I am so honored and blessed to be her mommy. I know God is going to use her in amazing ways. He already is.

Breaking Free

My Monday night Bible study group is doing Beth Moore's, Breaking Free. We're only on week 4 and it's quite intense. I can't help but share. This study has made me do some extreme soul searching, and some major spring cleaning of the heart.

This is what I have learned about God and myself so far...

Captivity is anything that hinders the abundant and Spirit-filled life of a believer. This will keep us from discovering our purpose.

There is a huge difference in believing in God, and believing God
*Even though I believe God is who He says He is, and I believe He can do anything, do I believe He will do anything

I can believe that Jesus is my LORD and Savior, but do I believe He is my Redeemer and Deliverer?
*I can be a Christian and have my place in eternity sealed, but I may not allow myself to experience Jesus to the fullest.

God's glory is the way He makes Himself recognizable. This is His reflection. If the Holy Spirit doesn't dwell in us, we have nothing of God in us for Him to show. "We were created for the purpose of giving God's invisible character a glimpse of visibility."

God never sheds light on our weaknesses and failures to condemn us. He brings them to our attention so we can allow Him to work on these in us. This will set us free.
* What is hindering me from being everything God wants me to be?

God hates pride and arrogance. Pride is anything that is keeping us from having a God-glorifying attitude. Pride keeps us from growing. Pride is denial. Pride won't admit weaknesses. Pride deceives. Pride disguises itself in many ways. Pride is the opposite of humility. Pride is not only thinking highly of yourself...pride is also thinking lowly of yourself. Pride doesn't allow room for God in our hearts.
* Pride has to be my biggest stronghold. I see pride now for what it is...it's what's keeping me from being totally honest with myself and God.

Be prayerful. Work on developing a deeper intimacy with God. Keep that line of communication open between us all the time. Pray without ceasing.
* Prayer isn't a chore, it's a privilege. God wants me to pray to Him with an honest heart. He doesn't care about the flowing cliches. He doesn't want to hear what I think He wants me to say. God just wants me to address Him humbly and honestly. He wants me to come to Him with my deepest concerns and hurts. Even if I am mad at Him, He wants me to know that I can come to Him with this. He already knows our hearts anyway, why can't we be honest enough with ourselves to be honest with Him?

Breaking Free is a study that's making me look at my fears and insecurities, and finding out how I got them. Then, it's showing me how to let God come in and not only fix these fears and insecurities, but fix what caused them in the first place.

So what's my biggest fear?
If I don't know you, my prideful answer would be:
extremely bad weather, nasty bugs and rodents, and coming face to face with a dreaded intruder

If I knew you and trusted there would be no judgement, I would have said being left alone with no support group or friends.

Now, I can honestly say that my biggest fear is, going through a very tough trial...something traumatic and life changing...and on the other side of it, when the healing begins, not learning what God wants me to learn from it.